I Am Adopted

If you had asked me 10 years ago what I thought about adoption I wouldn’t have had much to say on the subject.  I knew the Bible instructed us to take care of “widows and orphans in their distress.”  I felt sorry for them.  I hoped and prayed that someone would feel led to take care of them and change their status from orphan to son or daughter.  But that was for someone else, not me.  After all, we had three very small children of our own at the time.  What would God possible expect me to do about the plight of the orphan?  Then something happened that put us on a journey that would change everything.  In August of 2003 James and I were at a conference where Steven Curtis Chapman was the musical guest.  He and his wife had recently adopted their daughters from China.  He spoke about adoption, talked about his non-profit to help other people adopt and then he sang “When Love Takes You In,” complete with video footage of his new daughters.  It was touching to say the least.  Everyone in the place was crying, including me.  In that moment, God took a command that I assumed (or maybe hoped) was for someone else and began to softly hammer it into my heart and mind. 

For days, weeks, months, I could not shake the words…the video…the song.  Sometimes I can have an emotional experience that seems completely real and valid.  In the moment, the emotion entices me to get out there and make a difference, to right the world’s wrongs, be a hero.  But when the emotion wears off and reality sets in, the pursuit of the goal lacks the passion it requires and it is all but forgotten.  But this was different.  The emotions weren’t waning.  In fact, they were beginning to scream.  Secretly, I pondered in my heart what this could mean, what was God was trying to say?  Surely He didn’t want us to adopt!  Did I mention we had three small children at the time?  Their ages were 3, 4 and 6.  I knew that if I brought this up to James he would probably commit me to some facility where the attire consists of pretty, white jackets that tie in the back and lovely, sterile walls that are soft to the touch.  So, out of fear that I was going mad, I kept all these thoughts and feelings to myself and prayed.  I asked the Lord to show me plainly what He was requiring of me, and, if this was real to put the same thoughts and feelings in James’ heart.  And guess what?  He did. 

Many months later we found ourselves sitting in an adoption attorney’s office.  We spoke with her about what God had laid on our hearts.  We had absolutely no idea how to do any of this.  We told her that we had thoroughly investigated international adoption and that did not seem the path we were to take.  Now we were focusing on domestic adoption.  After she heard what we were looking for, a boy age two or younger (to keep our birth order intact), she basically told us that what we were looking for would be nearly impossible.  Babies who are that young are adopted so quickly it is hard to even hear of them before they are placed.  We left there discouraged but still believing this was what God was telling us to do.  Soon after this we learned that an attorney in our own church specialized in adoption.  James had a phone conversation with her in which he relayed the same information we had told the other attorney.  She basically said the same thing but said she would pray about it and whatever the Lord willed would happen.  We were confused and even more discouraged. 

Fast forward nearly three years.  By this time, life had marched on.  We were in our 6^th year of ministry to Single Adults at South Tampa Fellowship.  Our children were now 6, 7 and 9 and all in school.  Our once burning desire to adopt a child had all but become a smoldering ember.  But then, on an ordinary day, the Lord stepped in.  He fanned the flame, re-ignited the spark and did what only He can do…a miracle!  On a Wednesday night in late August of 2006, the attorney from our church (which we had not spoken to about adoption again) gave us news that would forever change our lives.  A boy, 18 months old, was about to be available for adoption.  The story of how she even heard of this child was a miracle in and of itself.  It would take too long to explain it, so just take my word for it.  We would have 48 hours to decide if we would like to be considered to be his parents with no guarantees that we would actually get him.  What?  Huh?  How?  Ummm?  You can imagine the utter madness of the moment.  It was like getting hit by a train while knowing the Lord Himself was the conductor.  We were terrified; but with shaking knees and quaking hearts we walked through the door the Lord had just kicked open!  “What He opens no one can shut, and what He shuts no one can open.”  Isaiah 22:22b NIV

I can’t tell you all the details and emotions that took place between that day and September 20, 2007, our official adoption day.  It would take more time than you would want to devote to reading all of it.  It was miraculous, amazing, heartbreaking, confusing, devastating, wonderful and everything in between.  There were moments when it all felt like a dream and moments when it all felt like a nightmare.  Sometimes we were giddy with excitement over this little life we were privileged to raise as our son and sometimes we were wondering what in the world we had done.  All normal, so I’m told!  Andrew David Patterson has been in our home and has been our son for seven years now.  I love this child with all my heart.  He is full of life, full of love, full of energy and sometimes full of vinegar! :-)  I can hardly wait to see the man he will be and am so blessed to be a part of making that happen.  He is a gift!

So, what have I learned from this process of adoption?  What could you learn from it? 

    1.  We are commanded to take care of the widow and the orphan. 

“Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.”  Isaiah 1:17 NIV

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.” James 1:27a NIV 

Will God call all of us to adopt?  No.  But if He does, don’t ignore Him.  Don’t assume or hope that someone else will do what He is asking you to do.  There are also many other ways to care for orphans besides adoption.  Some will become foster parents, some will volunteer their time at an orphanage.  Some will create an organization like my good friend Stacia Hepburn did called “I Matter Too.”  This is a wonderful volunteer advocacy program for children in foster care.  You can find out more about them at www.imattertoo.com.  Some will give money to sustain an orphan until such time as they find their forever home, some will pray for them.  Ask the Lord what He would have you do.  It won’t be to do nothing!  

      
      2.  I am adopted.  On the day we went to court to officially make Andrew our son, the judge said words I will never forget.  Because we had biological children, at one point in the proceedings, the judge made us raise our right hand and swear that we would make Andrew a co-heir, having all the rights, responsibilities and privileges of a “natural son.”  Powerful stuff!  Even more, it’s a powerful picture of what God has done for me and for you too if you are a believer.  The moment you became His child, God made you a co-heir with Christ.  He promised to give you all the rights, responsibilities and privileges of His Son.  You and I are adopted!

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ.” Romans 8:17 a NIV 

"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.  And by Him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’” Romans 8:15 

              3.  Never assume that just because you can’t see the Lord at work that He isn’t!  I must have wondered a million times why the Lord would give us such a strong desire to do something and then not bring it pass.  After all, wasn’t this something He wanted Christians to do?  Didn’t He want us to take care of orphans?  I can just imagine God listening to me and laughing, knowing all the while that Andrew wasn’t even born yet.  You can apply this to any situation, not just mine.  Has God called you to missions and yet you are still working your 9-5 job?  Have you believed God for a mate and you are still single, thinking He has forgotten you?   Whatever situation you are believing God for, don’t believe that He is not at work.   

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 1:6 NIV

“In his defense Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.”  John 5:17 NIV

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."  Philippians 2:13 NIV

Adoption.  It’s a game changer.  It changes the child; it changes the parents.  It takes people who aren’t even related and makes them into a family.  It’s also a beautiful picture of what God has done for us.  If you have been adopted as a son or daughter of the King, your life, your eternity is changed.  You are woven into the family of God as a co-heir with Jesus.  Hallelujah! 

Andrew David Patterson

Rachel, Nathan, Andrew and Hannah Patterson

If you are considering adoption and have any questions, please contact me at tracydp24@gmail.com.  I would love to talk to you about it.  Fear of the unknown can be the biggest deterrent to adoption.