Drama Queen

The last post I wrote discussed the differences between men and women. (See Fashioned and Formed.) The most dramatic difference, I believe, is the emotional difference. Men were created with fewer emotions; women were created with more. To ensure His design, God gave us hormones that would serve to steer our emotions. Ah, lovely hormones! Most of the time, our emotions are our friend. They guide us, give us intuitions, allow us to feel things we need to in order to fulfill our callings as women. They fill our joys with laughter and our sorrows with tears. However, sometimes, our emotions are not our friends. Instead of us controlling them, they control us. And, as a Christian, anything besides the Holy Spirit that controls us makes us a slave and leads us into bondage.   

Unless you enjoy acting on stage, being known as a drama queen is not a term of endearment. Have you ever had that friend? You know the one that totally drains you of energy and joy because of her enormous amount of “stuff?” The one you start to avoid after a while because she is always in some sort of emotional crises? I have. I have even been that person. (And just to be clear, I’m not talking about the once-a-month emotional crisis that makes us all a little nuts! :-)

If this description fits you or someone you know, one thing is for sure…constantly jumping from one emotional crisis to the next is utterly exhausting and does not display Christ to others! God does not intend for His daughters to live like this; being held hostage by our emotions. And, there is no way this kind of emotional roller coaster life is attractive to non-believers. 

What can we do?

First, I believe you have to want to regain control. There are some women who wear their emotions or their lack of control over them as a badge. They proudly display them for all to see, hear and experience. Some women have been seriously wronged or hurt in the course of their life. It is easier to understand, (especially if the hurt or wrong was caused by someone else), why they would choose to wear such a badge. I know because I myself wore one for years. I used it as an excuse to behave the way I did. I had been wronged and therefore was entitled to my “emotional issues.” I actually thought I couldn’t live without this badge (baggage) and wondered who I would be without it. While it is true that understanding and grace in abundance is necessary and should be offered in these cases, it is not true that this is “just who we are” or “we have a right to behave this way.” The only badge we should ever wear is that of a Christ follower! I hope and pray it is your desire to have people see Jesus in you…not your issues. If you have been wronged or hurt, give this over to Him. Accept Christ’s forgiveness. Forgive the person who wronged you. Forgive yourself. Seek professional counseling if you need to. Christ came to bring us freedom in every realm: physical, spiritual, mental and yes…emotional. Galatians 5:1 says “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” I have had to do all of these things so I know how hard it is. On your own, you can’t do it. But as Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”

So, that is step number one in the process of freedom from out-of-control emotions...decide that enough is enough and be determined to get yourself off the emotional roller coaster. Below are a few other practical steps the Lord laid on my heart:

1. Our battle over our emotions begins in our minds, not in our hearts. We must have a renewing of our minds if we are to gain control of our emotions.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:6-8 NIV

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2 NIV

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

How you think will determine how you live. I wrote a previous blog post on this titled “Who Do You Think You Are?” Please refer to this post for more on this important step of getting rid of lies we may have believed about ourselves and our situations. We must have correct thinking!

2. Out-of-control emotions lead to a state of confusion and chaos. Our God is not a God of confusion but rather of peace. One of my favorite titles given to Christ is that He is the Prince of Peace. If you are being overrun by your emotions, the thing you want most is peace. Who better to bring it than the One who is the Prince over it! 

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” 1 Corinthians 14:33a ESV.

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” 2 Thessalonians 3:16 NIV

“And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6b NIVDid you also notice in that last verse that Christ is called the Wonderful Counselor? I have been “seen” many thousands of times by the Wonderful Counselor. Pour out your heart to Him. He already knows what your issues are. Start there, but by all means, if the situation requires it, seek professional help. Christ has gifted many men and women in the area of Christian counseling. Some may also require the help of a medical doctor. 

3. The weight of sin that has not been dealt with causes extreme emotions. Even if we have asked forgiveness for past or present sin, if we haven’t accepted it, we are still living as though we are not forgiven. I have seen this time and time again regarding circumstances of sexual sin, (especially in cases of abuse and abortion.) Because the consequences of some sin is so great, we feel we can’t be forgiven or get out from under the crushing weight of them. Sweet friend, Christ died once, for all! He died for all people, for all sin! Don’t let the enemy bind you when Christ has already paid for your transgressions and taken away your shame and reproach. Talk to someone about your struggle. Don’t keep the secret buried inside you. It will only serve to further propel your unhealthy emotions.

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Isaiah 43:25 NIV

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12 NIV

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1 NIV

4. Constant worry is a serious threat to our emotional well-being. I have talked to many ladies recently who are overwhelmed with worry. Some are even  having panic attacks. If we look at our own lives, look around us or watch the news these days, we will find plenty of things we can be worried about. But, Christ Himself warned us about worry:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:25-27 NIV

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 NIV

There is an endless number of things to be concerned with; an endless number of situations to get on our faces before God about…but the difference between genuine concern and worry is one little word: trust. When we live in a state of worry, we say we don’t trust God to handle these things and we take the burden of them upon ourselves. When we present our requests/our concerns to the Lord and we trust Him with them, He carries those burdens for us. Do you see what an enormous difference that is? We aren’t made to carry them nor do we have the capacity to do it successfully.   

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30

God loves His girls…He wants us to be free to be the beautiful, emotional women He’s created us to be!  But, if your emotions have control over your life, you are not free; you are hindered and entangled. 

“...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus,…" Hebrews 12:1b-2a

I don’t know about you, but I'm getting my running shoes on right now!